Why I think Men can multi task!

In one boring moment, a realisation dawned on me which breaks the stereotype that Men cannot Multi – task. This is not a break through study on men which proves a point, just an observation. Here’s why I think Multi – tasking is also a man’s strength but in a different way. I will take the liberty of calling men to be Useless multi taskers. Implying that they multi task for not very useful tasks.

While a woman is known for being a super multi tasker and a lot of studies prove that! Here is a gag on men. LOL. Some of the quick points that come to my mind when I think of Men and Multi tasking are here below:

Men can smoke while driving and some of them also manage to be drunk while listening to music and they also lech at women as and when they come across them.All this while being behind the wheel.

Men can chat on multiple windows with girls and boys and also manage to talk to somebody across the table while looking on the screen of their mobiles or tablets.

Men can be with one woman and think about a million others in their head and still manage to be perfectly normal with the one they are sitting with. 

Men can take a dump while read a magazine and also think about (un)important issues.

The worst kind of men  go around with multiple women at one time while cheating on all of them.  

Who said they cannot multi task? They can. Period. it is just that they prefer to use their ability for less important tasks. 

This write up can be called as a result of frustration, feministic overpowerment or just something. 

Okay, I am out of here.

I am in the right place

Heart

For all the patient wait for Mr Right, I have found mine and it couldn’t have gotten any better. He did not come on a white horse back dressed like a knight but nevertheless arrived and what an arrival it was!

I first met my husband at my workplace. It was my first job and my first day to work gave me the regular jitters of being introduced to the big bad professional world. I did not know what was right to say and what was not, how to interact with my colleagues, like friends or be formal like professionals; I had my doubts if I was fulfilling my responsibilities in a way I was expected to. A midst this ambivalent time, came in a person who amused me totally. I could say from the first time I met him that he secretly admired me.

He looked at me like a midnight thief and smiled sheepishly when he was caught noticing. He would create conversations out of nothing just to make me react to his advances. I became greedy, I wanted all his love and attention to myself for a lifetime. I fell, fell too hard for him and now I know I am in the right place. After almost a year of courtship, we got married. And this is not the end, it was the beginning of a fairy tale.

One smile of his makes my heart melt even today, post – four months of marriage. Not a thing has changed; we only came closer, I love him more passionately now. His arms are where I feel at home and his voice is what my ears yearn to always hear. Marriage has put us in challenging situations at times, but our mutual understanding and love has brought us this far. I know there will be more troubles, challenges and strife coming our way, and I know my love for him will also change. Change for good, I see it multiplying exponentially everyday to a point of madness and it satiates me when I see it being reciprocated.

 

I notice the numerous sacrifices he makes to keep me comfortable, the interest he takes in making things feasible for the two of us, the glisten in his eyes when I do something for him, his concern when I am tired and sleepy. The numerous little things which are all perhaps what we girls want. I’ve got the perfect pick and I have decided to love him in a way that others will be jealous and also scared to burst our happy bubble.

Marriage has indeed done good to me! <3

A special teacher for a special child

Image

“I have a tough job in my hand, but I enjoy doing it” said K.V Mythili on being asked about her profession as a teacher. She is a teacher who handles children every day at school and has a tougher job than usual as she handles two special children in her class. One is suffering from autism while the other is a hyper active child. Nisha* who is ten years old is the protagonist of this story. She studies in a normal school as other children and she is loved by her friends dearly. Autism is a disorder of neural development characterized by impaired social interaction and communication, and by restricted and repetitive behavior.

Nisha said “My favorite teacher is Miss Mythili. I love her very much. She gives me chocolates and drops me home every day.” Her admiration for her teacher glistens in the child’s eyes. Listening to the teacher’s name lightened up Nisha’s face and she wouldn’t stop showering praises for her teacher. The teacher’s extra affection for the child is seen in her giving Nisha chocolates most of the time. The rapport that Nisha and her teacher share is commendable. Miss Mythili, like her students call her said that she enjoys her profession thoroughly and she especially likes teaching children like Nisha. “My personality underwent a total change when I came across Nisha. I do not have children of my own; my affection for Nisha being more than the other teachers can be traced back to this reason. She is a huge part of my life as she taught me patience and perseverance and lot of other values.” It is very important for the teacher of such students to constantly keep in touch with parents to enhance teaching. It is only through the mutual co operation of the student, parents and the teacher that a difference can be brought about.

Nisha is a gifted child, though she is not considered normal she is the topper of the class and is teachers’ pet. The teachers love teaching her and see her excel. It gives them that adrenaline rush to see her grow up and cope up fast with the other children in her class. Her good handwriting, excellent memory skills and flawless answer sheets are what impress her teachers. No person would be able to guess that she is autistic by reading her answer paper. Her intellectual abilities are worth appreciating and her growth is evident in terms of all round development.

Teaching has changed over the years and the methods that were used earlier are considered archaic today. The present day teaching systems were perhaps unimaginable even five decades ago. The relationship that teachers and students share has changed drastically these days; Corporal punishment is undoubtedly out of question and verbal admonition also has to be avoided as much as possible. Listening was the only activity the students had to do in classes earlier but these days students learn by doing said Miss Mythili. Students find hope and trust in their teachers completely which is why some of them also share their personal problems with them. Sometimes when Nisha was angry with her mom for shouting at her, she shared it with her favorite teacher and found solace there.  Freedom is not something that only adolescents demand for, students in Mythili Miss’ class also demand freedom to walk around in class and feel at home even in class.  Nisha loves the comments that her teacher writes on her report card or test papers. They boost her zeal to study and shine.

In today’s fast paced world, when everything has to be done intantly, children like Nisha are a definite cause of worry. Her parents worried about Nisha having a normal childhood with friends; outcasting Nisha from the group was the major concern they had but there was no need to worry. Nisha is a lucky girl, her friends are extremely compassionate and they do not leave her alone. Her teacher Mythili keeps an eye on her all the time and made other students treat her normally as well.  Nisha is blessed with an amazing teacher who has ensured her a normal childhood. She could grow, learn and adapt what she taught Nisha and improve greatly on her personality as well.  Miss Mythili is an integral part of Nisha’s life and her parents thank their stars for bringing in such a wonderful mentor for their daughter. Nisha is indeed lucky. Like Miss Mythili is a big part of Nisha’s life so is Nisha an important part of the teachers life as well. Miss Mythili finished the conversation by saying “I am extremely proud of Nisha”, hoping for her to get into this big bad world as a normal girl.

*Name changed on request

Marriage – a stereotype

I heard it again two days ago! The lines I dread the most, and this time, what’s worse is that I heard it from my husband.

Ever since I remember, as a child,  I have heard men in movies, serials, parties, public places, offices and every other place have the same thing to say about marriage. The usual question from friends “So, How’s married life?” and the so called new ‘victim’ replies “You know how it is after marriage” and laughter explodes. Somehow, this made me uncomfortable, I knew I will be a wife one day and I swore to myself that I will ensure that my husband wouldn’t say that. I got married. I was posed with the same question umpteen times and I chose to brush it aside by saying, “yeah, its going good.”

I, very consciously suppressed all my womanly feelings of attention – grabbing, jealousy, suspicion, domination and every other ‘wifely feeling’ so as to not be labelled as a stereotype wife who chokes her husband’s freedom. My Husband is a happy man, with me as well (at least, I think so). We have our own individual lives and a lovely life together. We rarely fight and have funny arguments but reconcile in seconds. I consider our relationship to be healthy and happy. Yet, the other day, we met my husband’s friend V and he popped the usual “How’s married life?” question and to my astonishment, my husband said “You know what its like after marriage” and laughed! I was shattered. All my efforts through all these months seemed nothing. It took me about two minutes to compose and get myself to senses again.

I wondered what had gone wrong! I gave him all the freedom and space, all that he wanted, what might I have missed? After almost 24 hours of contemplation, I realized that Men will be Men. No matter how good their life is, in a friends circle, laughing at the same old sexist joke is what makes them laugh. And like men will be men, women will be women, While I am complaining about men complaining to their male friends, I now realise that I am complaining too.  

Yes I am aware that women and men are different, think differently, expect different things and speak different languages, however, this write up is my way of expressing my distress, a woman’s expression. Hence, I conclude, that marriage and everything it brings along with it including associated conversation is a stereotype.

 

 

BMTC Joy Ride

My father always told me that observation is the best teacher ever. He repeatedly reminded me of this at different stages of my life but I realized it to be a genuinely applicable fact on one fine busy day .This was one of those days when I had to travel by the public bus; one bus can fit in as many people as one can or rather cannot imagine. I never got into a bus that tilted to one side because of overloaded people, No matter how much I tried, this was one phobia I could not do away with. The idea of travelling by a bus is not something that I liked very much.

I took a bus from TC Palya to Majestic along with a friend in Bangalore. The wait for the bus was long but when it finally arrived the ride was thoroughly entertaining and educative as well. It was a long journey that I had to undertake but it was assorted with a lot of interesting instances that made it a joy ride. The bus was stuffed with people when it reached our stop, since this was one bus that came after a long wait we decided to get into it reluctantly.  People from different sections of the society heading towards destinations on one route shared the same transport system to get from one place to another. Those few minutes spent in the bus were extremely eventful.

As soon as I entered, I felt like I was part of a hugging spree. To move to the inside of the bus and get a safe spot with a handle to hold was quite a challenge. We had to cross a sea of people rubbing against them, embracing them and also pushing a few in some cases. Thank God they have separate sections for men and women I thought, but this separation did not leave all the men disappointed. When the bus is full of people, the men get to stand closer to the women and get their share of entertainment as well. While one man stared at all the pretty girls getting in and out of the bus at different stations, another had the audacity to pinch a girl’s bottom; another man tries to become the hero in this situation by defending the girl and fighting for her. Before I was conscious of it, I started to observe people and their mannerisms. Since I was in the front which is considered to be the ladies area, I could notice more of women than men. When two female strangers meet, there are two extreme possibilities; they could either be amicable acquaintances or enemies. One young lady entered the bus and hurried to a place where she found an empty seat and sat there panting, another lady came in with a fractured hand, seeing this, the former seated passenger got up to offer her seat to the wounded co passenger but before this could happen another lady grabbed the seat. The two women got into a verbal spat which grabbed a lot of eyeballs and ear drums to their attention. Simultaneous to this incident was a man getting molested by a eunuch. My focus shifted from the women to the men, or I’d rather say man and the eunuch. The eunuch spread a pang of fear amongst most men in the bus. Few did not even get down at their bus stops as the eunuch was standing at the door. I felt like I was watching a blockbuster movie live with all the elements to make it a hit. The twists, suspense and the adrenaline rush while watching people interact with each other is extremely intriguing.  One white shirted man got into the bus, carrying a flask full of tea alongside the white shirted man a lady got in following him. She tripped over something fallen in the bus and spilled the tea on the white shirted man. I saw the man’s face turn red with rage before I could witness his reaction it was time for me to get down. It was difficult for me to leave the incident half way through and get down but I had to. I got down following the two people with my eyes for as long as I could and the bus finally left leaving me with the story incomplete. I hoped the man would not admonish the lady too much as she appeared to be naïve and old.

I started perceiving bus journeys in a different manner from that day on wards. Books, games and conversations, nothing can beat the entertainment obtained by mere observation of people at public places.

My Heroic Mother

Come to think of women….Umm there are many significant women who played different roles in my life and taught me different lessons.  But there is one significant woman who played all these roles and played them in all her capability. She is the one I will remember and cherish all my life.

While I am still dreaming, I hear a faint voice calling out to me and coaxing me to wake up and go to school. Today, when I think of it, her voice has become feeble but I still yearn to listen to her. She will not have to plead me anymore, if I hear her voice calling out to me, I would instinctively respond. When I got late while playing, she would admonish me for playing till late in the dark. I couldn’t make sense of her worries back then but now I understand her concern for me. She taught me how to read, write and make sense of things every day. Her lessons were not limited to a time frame but her life taught me lessons of strength and courage. She is one woman who plays a significant role in shaping every human Being’s life. She is the woman who brought me into this world and nurtured me for as long as she could with all her strength.

But that was all a passé. Her presence has become conspicuous in my life by her absence. Everybody say their mother is the best and I join the crowd to say the same. She was indeed the best! I was physically with her for twelve and a half years but she is still present with me in spirit. She battled cancer for seven long years and succumbed to it eventually. Her defeat to the malicious disease brought many sympathizers to my place, but I still view it as her victory. She had that monster growing in her for seven years; she still managed to shield that piece of information from me and my sister. Nobody knew about it except for my father and the team treating her at the hospital. She was happy and a radiator of joy until she breathed her last. She is an epitome of strength and might to me. Her courage enthralls me and makes me proud to be her daughter.

Mine is not a sad story. My mother made me strong by teaching me how to live like a lady with dignity and humility while she was there and left me to practice it when she left. Had she been there, I would’ve been very dependant and failed to take notice of smaller pleasures. I saw a drastic change in my personality after her death. The lazy and laid back person that I was almost ceased to exist after her. It felt like she took all the negativity that I had in me along with her to give me a better life. It might sound unreal, but I would like to believe it. I felt the sense of responsibility in me sprout out in its entire valor. My father tried his best to make us feel complete though he was going through a feeling of great void. It was like all my family members lost vision of what to do with our lives. We felt directionless and confused.

There was a time when I refused to believe in the existence of a supernatural power ruling our lives. I refused to believe that a disaster of that magnitude actually knocked my door. Many people spoke me into accepting the loss and moving on. It was perhaps easy for them to say but it was more than just a loss for me. My father made up for every bit of it. He cradled us in his secure arms and still continues to do so like a chicken would keep her chicks secure under the warmth of her wings. He made me realize the value of life and how to come out of hardships victoriously. I could still see him smile and exude joy to keep both his daughters happy. He reminds me of my mother’s gentleness and narrates some of the incidents from her lifetime that lifts my spirit.

I am a fiercely independent person. Or that’s what I think but I cannot imagine a life without the immense support from my family and my mother in spirit. I do have a guardian angel. She guides me and leads me to the right path every day of my life. I can feel her presence around me and that is where I derive my courage and determination from.  Every time I feel lonely, I am reminded of how she held my hand as a child and guided me through strange and new paths. She still is holding on to my hands and forever will.

Everything happens for a reason. Time acted as a salve to our wounds. Though the void is still strongly felt, the emptiness felt triggers will and strength. When I look back at my life today, many of my actions are inspired by my hero, my mother. She truly is a legend to me. She deciphered everything in the world while I was a child and she still continues to do so. Mine is not a story of tears but that of might and bravery. She was indeed as brave as a lion.

Mom and I at Vizag way back in 1991Mom and I in Vizag way back in the 90′s

Fingers doing the talking

Txt

It can make you smile, smirk, blush, laugh, cry and any other human emotion possible can come out with this new trend in communication. You might have just texted someone or must have received one or your phone might even ring this very moment for a message. Short message service or SMS(read whatsapp, we chat, BBM and the like) or texting is this addictive form of communication which has caught the attention of people from all walks of life.

SMS is perhaps the most used abbreviation and application by people all across the world. Its creation came as a respite to the world of complex communication system. This mode of communication has caught up like wild forest fire. With the different service providers enabling texting options for almost free, texting has become the order of the day. All you have to do to send across a message to your friend in any part of the world is run your fingers across that tiny keypad. Some experts in texting don’t even have to look at the keypad to type a message.

The advent of text messaging is enabling that sort of communication which was never possible before. A person may now carry out a conversation with another user without the constraint of being expected to reply within a short amount of time, and without needing to set time aside to engage in conversation.

Texting has also enabled two way communication in mass media like television where the opinions of the viewers are considered through polls and also they can receive any information while they are on the move.

Though this form of communication came as a boon to the society it has its own dark side which cannot be ignored. The consequence of SMS language has affected the written abilities of language. Every word is cut down to a shorter character as the only motive is to make the other person understand irrespective of its grammatical intricacies. The quality of written mode of communication seems to decline. Texting has caught so much of our attention that we don’t seem to let it aside even while driving. Texting while driving is one of those innocently committed serious offences which can be life taking. The advent of spam on your mobile phone is also due to uncalled for forwards or chain messages. The most probable but ignored damage that text messaging can cause to your fingers is the blackberry thumb syndrome which is a form of repetitive strain injury caused to the thumb due to frequent strain of mobile phones.

If all the negative effects of texting can be put on the backseat and if used wisely Sms can be one of the best forms of communication to put your message across without much effort. And while winding this up, here goes an SMS fact, the first sms was sent over to a Vodafone GSM network in the United Kingdom on the 3 of December 1992 which read “Merry Christmas”. Be a smart texter and Happy Texting!